When Should I Speak Up?

When you change your lifestyle, or at least any significant part of it, and it yields good results, you want to shout it out from the rooftops. You want to tell everyone and anyone what you’re doing, because you want them to find the same success that you have found.

So when is a good time to volunteer (unprovoked) information about all you’ve been doing, and all that someone else could be doing?

Almost never.

I would say never, but there are always exceptions tucked in dark corners, so I’ll say almost never to leave room for exceptions.

Do you remember yourself, back before you started to make changes? If you had spent a meal with someone, and they critiqued the food and your eating the entire meal, would that have changed what you ate? My money’s on NO. But it would have made you resent the person and perhaps do what you could to avoid eating with them again.

You become “that person.”

I’m sure there are things now that people could preach at you about that you’re just not ready or wanting to change. Everyone has different priorities.

For example: on Thanksgiving, I didn’t eat any turkey or gravy. Everyone there already knew I’m vegetarian, and no one — including me — said anything about it. I also didn’t eat any dessert. When offered, I said, “No thank you. I’m skipping sugar this weekend.”

Was there anything on the table I could have commented on? Um, yes. Probably everything. But we didn’t gather at Thanksgiving to eat a well-balanced healthy meal and discuss the merits of doing so. We gathered to be together on what has become a holiday spent with family.

If anyone had asked my thoughts on any of the dishes, I surely would have answered them carefully but honestly. (Carefully because someone in the room prepared each dish. It would be rude to cut them down, especially in front of everyone else.) If anyone had asked why I was skipping sugar, I would have told them. (Empty calories were a reason, but I had bigger reasons. Everyone just assumed I was “being good.”)

But no one asked. So I didn’t volunteer. And it’s OK. If people want to talk about it, I can talk for hours 🙂 But only by request.

The other piece is: if people ask me how I do what I do, then of course, I’ll tell them. I start in not too much detail and allow room for questions. It’s easy to launch into a soliloquy, but that’s typically not what people are looking for.

Again, it serves you well to tread lightly in many areas, and I don’t usually argue much when people say, “I could never [do anything healthy].” Of course they can. They haven’t chosen to do it yet. But it’s not likely that me pounding them over the head (with what amounts to guilt and shame) is going to change their life — or our conversation, or our relationship — for the better.

If you’ve made an obvious body transformation, people will ask if they want to know.

Everyone is on their own path. Let them.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Stephanie on 3 December 2012 at 09:43

    well said! Happy Holidays!

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