Um, hey guys.

Nichol is really really sorry about last week and she’s here to grovel and give you a sob story in the hopes that you still love her.

I hope you have some time. I have suddenly become a very prolific blog poster.

Are you mad? This is the second time I forgot about you! I’m in a shame spiral, but I have totally valid reasons excuses for my lack of thoughtfulness and planning. We will get to those in a minute. I have changed my ne’er do well ways and am utilizing my iCal! You have your own little spot and every Sunday my iPhone/iPad/iMac give me annoying little loud reminders that I have a responsibility to you and to Heather and to Second Chance. I’m really tempted to use a quote from Tombstone right now, but I don’t think my stepdad reads this and he’s usually the only one who appreciates them so… Moving on.

I have had a rough two weeks. A depressed, back aching, dog dying, paper writing, no sleeping, self-loathing two weeks. This is all true.

As you read a couple of weeks ago, I strained a nice long row of muscles and was out of commission. Three days of no activity really hit me hard, as you previously read. It kind of went from bad to worse. I was in a lot of pain even after the three days and I didn’t finish P90X. I had a lot of friends have some amazing relationship-y things happen to them (babies, marriage proposals, etc). As happy as I am for them, it always makes me a little jealous and sad. (I’m not in the habit of lying about anything, so I won’t lie about how sometimes being single sucks, a lot. But this is not about my lack of confidence with boys, it’s about making me hot so I can be more confident around boys. Insert a half serious, half joking haha here.)

I had negative thoughts and negative eating (still no soda or fast food! The former sad Nichol go-tos) and was just hating life. I was definitely not choosing happiness.

Then last Friday, my family and I had to put our dog to sleep. She had been with us for 12 years and she was the sweetest, most loving, three legged garbage disposal of a dog in the world. See below.

20120930-225414.jpg

That did not help.

This past Sunday, I woke up feeling pretty decent. Physically good, a little less tired, and mentally okay. I rolled around in bed for awhile, did some homework, and then walked my mile to Circle K. An interesting thing happened while I was there. Like I said, I’ve been feeling low and I thought I would get a Peace Tea and some peanut butter cups. Make me feel good, before the sugar high went away. But a funny thing happened once I was there. I didn’t want anything. Not one little thing. I didn’t want Peace Tea or Hostess anything, I didn’t look at the Poptarts or the M&M’s.

You know what I bought? VitaminWater. Gum. That’s it.

And as I walked back home, I felt insanely proud of myself. Shocked, but proud. And I realized that I really had changed. I realized that I needed to not let one little back injury and crappy week take away 9 months of blood, sweat, and tears.

So here it is, October 3rd and I am buckled down. I am determined. And I am going to finish this year like an exhausted maniac. You know most of my goals: exercise, eat healthy, blah blah blah.

But here’s the good stuff. Where my mojo comes back.

I am going to complete the entire 10 weeks of C25K. I scheduled all three days of running for the next 13 weeks (I added extra weeks for 1, 2, and 3).

I am going to do my best to get rid of the extra crap I consume that is holding my back. This is relegated solely to Circle K and vending machine trips during work.

Better meal planning and preparation!

Finally?

I am ready to quit smoking. It’s gross, it’s expensive, and it just doesn’t make any damn sense anymore. I’m back on the step down method. My hope is to be smoke free after the first of the year. I’m not guaranteeing that piece. We shall see how the reduction in certain foods is going to go. I don’t want to get arrested for manslaughter, which could happen when I’m giving up the nicotine. I should probably go live in a cave for awhile…

So this was a crazy long, rambling post. Sorry about that. I’m just so pumped. Hopefully next week I’ll be a little more succinct and a little less tired.

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: