Change All Over

It’s Wednesday! Today’s post is by Nichol.

Last week, one of my miles was hiking Mormon Trail with a co-worker/friend. Right before we left for the hike, I was standing in the parking lot at 6:00, well maybe not standing so much as jumping and twirling (don’t ask). The front office manager made a comment to me as she was leaving about my energy level. She said that my energy level doesn’t seem to decrease between starting work at 8 and leaving for home (or school) at 6. That got me thinking…

As my friend/co-worker and I were coming down the trail, we were talking about relaxation and energy levels.

(I’m going to leave out the part about it being dark by this time and me leading us off the trail 3 or 4 times, although I will happily tell you that last year, it took me and a friend a little over two hours to complete Mormon Trail. This time, it was an hour.)

She was talking about how relaxation used to be laying on the couch and watching TV. I agreed; that was also my former main mode of relaxation. And by that measurement, I should have been the most relaxed person on the planet, with the cleanest house, no stress, floating on a cloud of happy. In actuality, my house was a pretty constant disaster, I was a giant, exhausted stress ball, and I was anti-social.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t just my body that had changed. It wasn’t just my eating habits or what I drank. It wasn’t even my job, or my life goals. It literally is everything.

Monday through Friday my couch and I don’t see each other at all. Saturday we hang out a little bit. Sunday, my couch sees me in spurts. I’m up and down all the time — cleaning my bathroom, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, mopping, making phone calls, meeting friends for coffee or brunch… When I really started to think about it, this thing has changed me completely.

I’m more sociable. I try new things. I go out with new people. I’m neater. I’m definitely more outgoing and energetic. I have loads more confidence. If I met two years ago me, I wouldn’t recognize her.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like my Saturday night with a beer, my pillow, and a couple dozen episodes of Ghost Adventures on the DVR, but it’s less often than it was.

I’m starting to come to the realization that I have changed in a million different ways, many of which I haven’t even discovered yet. I like this me. Some old friends aren’t used to her yet, they still expect old, co-dependent me and they may cease to be friends because they want the lay around the house, self-conscious, do the same thing we’ve always done Nichol, but it’s just not me. I made it my mission to make myself happy and that’s what I’m doing.

I have two things in closing. The first is a picture of what I look like when I get up in the morning (I had an urge to share a non-sweaty pic this week)

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And the second is a quote from Shay Butler (aka ShayCarl of the Shaytards from YouTube). I’ve been watching Shay’s videos for about two years. In the past year Shay has lost over 100lbs, which was a long arduous process for him. That wasnt the reason I watched his videos, but it’s nice to see his journey parallel with mine. Because of his family’s daily vlogs, and his Shayloss channel, I’ve been inspired by him. He recently completed the LA Marathon.

Shay says, “My favorite quote is from Tony Robbins. He said ‘change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change’ which means it is more painful for me to stay to stay how I am, not being able to sleep very well, not being able to run around and play with my kids without getting winded. Feeling like crap, having my pants be tight. Going out in public and feeling like ‘oh I’m fat, people are looking at me’. That pain is greater than the pain of exercising and eating healthy and not being able to have your Coca-Cola Classic. It’s painful not being able to drink my Coke, but it’s not as painful as feeling like crap. I definitely want to lose weight, but more than anything I want to feel good.”

He’s right. My previous life was a million time more painful, in a million different ways. And although I still have a ways to go and I have my bad days, I feel good. Those pains have been disappearing, bit by bit, day by day. And it feels amazing.

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